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It seems rather strange that I
should be sending what is probably the single most important
communication in the history of mankind to a bunch of geeks but who
could better appreciate it than the people with whom I have shared so
much already? Passing strange it is, that we Lungfishies should have a
ritual night of gathering to poke fun at that single-lettered filing
cabinet for the passively labeled uncertainties of human imagination
regarding the existence of life beyond our world's boundaries.
I know that's a little cryptic but in anticipation of you probably
wanting to share this with the rest of the world I've left out the
names, places, and other items of detail that would likely get me sued
for various forms of infringement, libel, and assorted transgressions of
national security. So, please, be patient while I strain to inform you
of why we're not in Kansas anymore.
Several weeks back, as some of you may know, I took a week off from
work; supposedly to attend a convention in SF. I was there, but only to
keep up appearances as there was an ulterior motive. As some of you may
know, SCZ has a local astronomy club. One of my neighbors had encouraged
me to attend a meeting several years back and at that meeting I met a
couple of gentlemen, let's call them FD and BO. They were the
"featured speakers" because the president of the club knew
them pretty well (obviously!). About a month ago, I received a weird
e-mail from FD via the CATS server in SCZ. The reason this is weird is
that FD is a pretty big mucky-muck in the field of astronomy (as is BO)
and the really weird thing is that FD was asking _me_ if I would be
willing to make some modifications and enhancements to a digital signal
processing algorithm I'd published a couple of years back in an obscure
programming rag. It seems that their programming lead on a certain
project (now relocated to AZ) took off to become a well-paid GUI
programmer after the government funding for their project dried up. They
later sought (and found) private funding but couldn't entice him back.
Since he had used a lot of my work in some key parts of the project
software it seemed only natural (to them) that they contact the original
author when they became caught between the proverbial stone and
less-than-pliant position. At any rate, I got the e-mail, got the offer
and as my ego soared out of control I acquiesced to something that I
probably shouldn't have but did anyway. Because of the security issues
(and me with no clearance) they arranged some temporary work quarters in
what was, in retrospect, a devilishly clever location. I mean really,
who's going to look for a top-secret project operating in the midst of
convention of geek developers?!
For the entire week, during the day and most of the night, I subsisted
on sandwiches (with the occasional meal as noted in previous posts here
that I was forced to fabricate to keep up appearances). They even went
so far as to ask for my credit card to pay for the meals while I worked!
Sheesh!! They poured coffee down me as I worked with their crack team.
These guys were _really good_ and it was a very humbling experience.
Fortunately, I knew my tiny piece of the puzzle pretty well and they
were quite adept at turning my dross code hacks into gold. Occasionally
they would give me a break and ask me to wander about the convention
floor, again to keep up appearances, and instructed me sit through some
of the most boring classes you can imagine. I was even told to pick up
lots of literature so as to
corroborate "the story" should anyone ask. Geez! These guys
had thought of everything (.almost, but we'll get to that later).
It was getting toward the end of the week and I'd accomplished almost
everything that they'd wanted with the exception of a TCP/IP routine to
send a data stream to some recorder servers. After an extremely short
conversation regarding my ability to code imbedded datagrams directly
into the source they broke down and scrounged up a nice little
library to do sockets and other comm stuff. It was at this point that my
creativity got the better of me. Such a simple thing, a "tee",
like a joint in a water hose that send the water in two directions at
one time. It was just another option in the function call and I
_knew_ I should have left it NULL; but, like an idiot, I thought I'd
test it out by putting in my personal CIS internet ID. In my own
defense, I couldn't have anticipated that I'd get so wired on Java that
I would forget to take out the test address or that they would suddenly
wrap the whole expedition up hours ahead of when they originally told me
that it would end. So much for schedules (and so much for government
fire-walls!). At least I got done early enough to catch CC's
presentation of gaming with D-phi before heading back home.
Naturally I was instructed to keep quiet or else they'd have to shoot me
(they joking and I taking them quite seriously). I've been playing the
game as instructed. up to and until I got the e-mail in my private CIS
account the other day; compliments of the "tee" option that
I'd
forgotten to null out. What follows is most of the important stuff. I've
omitted the message routing information because it's probably not that
important in the long run. What _is_ important is the fact that this is
probably the first "validated" communication of
extra-terrestrial origin. I can imagine what any particular one of you
is thinking about now and I sure as hell don't expect anyone of you to
really believe this but then again, that's the irony of it; nobody else
will either and, of course, that's just what they probably counted on
happening. Too much Hollywood makes for a great cover! .may you SOBs rot
in a very warm place to your disliking. But I digress. here's the text.
Make of it what you will but try to keep an open mind. I can only
pretend to understand the intellect that would take the trouble to send
it so many light years distant. (Also, I don't think they've got all of
the bugs worked out of the translation layer either as some of the words
and phrasing reads pretty strangely.)
*** TEXT BEGINS ***
>(parse (input, astream, atest))
[001]
Occurrence-single existence flow within, Rehtom Eniwsgip, being
with offspring 3, being kind-of Elamef, professed lineage bond, cast-in
offspring 3 Aesnaeco, medium-of dwelling, whole-of. Goal-to, locate
for-each, path-of nourishment, path-of vibration non-discordant.
Offspring-of Eniwsgip, Aesnaeco medium-of traversed, interval-of
passing, center-of current layered, entered. Pausing, interval-short,
lineage-bond pledge exchange, current-layers separate choosing,
continued through, each, medium-of dwelling, lines-of distant
viewing, toward.
[002]
Offspring-1, near-star meeting life-1, dwelling material tubular
pliancy-1 request granted. Establish shelter-1 success. Near-star
interval passing, danger-life joining offspring-1. Offspring-1,
nourishment danger-life. Offspring-1, current-layer terminate.
[003]
Offspring-2, farther-star meeting life-2, dwelling material cylinder
pliancy-2 request granted. Establish shelter-2 success. Farther-star
interval passing, danger-life follow, joining offspring-2. Offspring-2,
nourishment danger-life. Offspring-2, current-layer terminate.
[004]
Offspring-3, distant-star meeting life-3, dwelling material cubical
pliancy-9 request granted. Establish shelter-3 success. Distant-star
interval passing, danger-life follow. Secure shelter-3 success.
Danger-life negotiate deception offspring-3, occurance-1, occurance-2,
occurance-3. Incompatible, danger-life offspring-3 existence.
Terminate, offspring-3 danger-life. Report, offspring-3 path-of
nourishment, non-discordant vibration.
[005]
Success.
t
nil
*** TEXT ENDS ***
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A
WormHaus on Walpurgisnacht
