This morning I got e-mail from a college student who wanted advice on getting work as a writer. You know, I haven’t adjusted to the idea of being a professional writer. I still feel like an enthusiastic amateur who gets inexplicable checks in the mail.
At any rate, I guess one of the perks of being a professional is that you can dispense advice like a wise old Rollmastr and people pay attention. So what the hey, as long as I’m replying I may as well provide my soft, cushiony wisdom to the Web at large. Here’s what I told him:
My first piece of advice is to always write. If you can’t get work for big publications, write for small ones. If you can’t get work for small publications, then put something up on the Web. (In fact, unless you’ve gotten so much work you don’t have the time, I’d suggest writing on your own Web page anyway. It’s good practice, if nothing else.) I started at Wired News through an internship I saw posted on Craigslist. I think one of the reasons they chose me for the internship is because I had a book published. I got a book published because I wrote humor on my own website and a publisher eventually approached me. Don’t let people walk all over you, but recognize that doing something for cheap or free may lead to better opportunities in the future.
Writing about technology is like having sex in a bathtub: If you don’t know anything about sex, it won’t help to know a lot about bathtubs. A good reporter can always ask the right questions, but if you can’t communicate ideas well then having technical knowledge isn’t nearly enough. I have a literature degree, but if you’re looking to write for tech publications I’d recommend journalism. If you’re a senior I guess it’s too late to pick a major, but it’s not too late to start writing.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not that hard to get professional work as a writer if you have the chops. Yes, there are a lot of people who want to be writers, but there’s still unfulfilled demand for people who can actually do it well. I spent a lot of my adult life assuming that I needed to get a “real job,” because being a writer, much less a humorist, wasn’t a realistic goal. I was wrong. I don’t think I could have walked out of college and straight into paid work at Vanity Fair, but I could have been a professional a lot sooner. Many publications, including Wired News, have an open submissions policy whereby you can send “queries,” essentially offers to write specific stories. Google “magazine queries” or check out one of the many books on the subject. In general, editors care a lot more about the words you put on the page than the words you have on your degree.
I don’t really know what separates people who can’t write well from those who can. Genetics? Upbringing? Training? A certain je ne sais whatever? Call me a cynic, but I suspect that if you’re a bad writer, “believe in yourself” is a terrible piece of advice. I don’t think I could believe myself into being an Olympic-level gymnast, and I think a lot of people couldn’t possibly believe themselves into being the next David Sedaris. But if you do have this talent or skill or whatever you want to call it, believing in yourself is the most important advice you can get. Even after I started writing professionally, it took me a while to realize that my “voice,” my idiosyncratic approach to writing, was an asset rather than a detriment.
If only I could just believe myself into having sex in a bathtub….
Having followed your stuff since the Mid-Brunching Era, I’d wholeheartedly agree about your “voice”.
I remember you posting a while back, a little after Book of Ratings got published, about looking for resources about getting a book published for the first time. I don’t remember any follow-up to that. Did you ever find anything?
It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much other people get paid for bad writing. It’s a tragedy, really. I appreciate yours though – keep up the good work.
I know enough about sex and enough about bathtubs to know that the spouse and I can’t fit into ours without breaking off the faucet.
I got a nasty scar on my posterior from a sex/bathtub incident. No joke, I will send pics at request.
Helpful and informative, thanks Lore. I really appreciate you sharing some of your life wisdom with those of us who would like to improve our skills and also receive checks in the mail as if by magic.
That’s great advice, and very heartfelt, I thought. At least, it was on this end. Who can tell with you humorists! But excellent advice regardless. Well-tempered with doses of reality.
As some supplementary advice, if anyone out there is a frustrated humorist with a gift for the knack of expression, but finds himself or indeed, herself, stuck in an unfulfilling office-type job, bear in mind that once the higher-ups find out what an excellent writer you are you may find yourself with the opportunity to “ghost-write” many of their memos for them. Which can be a wonderful creative outlet.
A great memo can be hilarious, if you’re subtle enough about it. I get low profile compliments from those in-the-know throughout the entire organization: “That was hilarious, but you, uh, really better watch it there. One of these days somebody’s going to explain his own memos to him.”
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(Yes, I know this comment is a bit late. Forgive me!)
As someone who is of the same demographic as the guy who wrote the original letter, I really appreciate the commentary. There’s something refreshing about seeing my favorite humorist — if not overall writer in general — be so blunt and yet also optimistic to those out there who happen to be aspiring to go down that path themselves. (Indeed, I could have been the guy who asked that question myself you could have been saying that right to my face.)
And it has made me feel a lot better about a sort of possible future for myself, so… you’ve done your “help touch one person’s life” deed for the day.
Ok, that sounded way too corny. Sorry about that. Uh… I’ll comment again randomly in a few weeks, I guess.
I think that first of all it is necessarry to have a wish for writing, because this is the initial, simplest and sometimes most important factor to bring success to the author.
Write? You mean that in order to become a writer, one must write? Isn’t there a shortcut? Like, maybe wishing for writing?
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