The Slumbering Lungfish Dybbuk Hostel and All-Night Boulangerie

This morning I got e-mail from a college student who wanted advice on getting work as a writer. You know, I haven't adjusted to the idea of being a professional writer. I still feel like an enthusiastic amateur who gets inexplicable checks in the mail.

At any rate, I guess one of the perks of being a professional is that you can dispense advice like a wise old Rollmastr and people pay attention. So what the hey, as long as I'm replying I may as well provide my soft, cushiony wisdom to the Web at large. Here's what I told him:

My first piece of advice is to always write. If you can't get work for big publications, write for small ones. If you can't get work for small publications, then put something up on the Web. (In fact, unless you've gotten so much work you don't have the time, I'd suggest writing on your own Web page anyway. It's good practice, if nothing else.) I started at Wired News through an internship I saw posted on Craigslist. I think one of the reasons they chose me for the internship is because I had a book published. I got a book published because I wrote humor on my own website and a publisher eventually approached me. Don't let people walk all over you, but recognize that doing something for cheap or free may lead to better opportunities in the future.

Writing about technology is like having sex in a bathtub: If you don't know anything about sex, it won't help to know a lot about bathtubs. A good reporter can always ask the right questions, but if you can't communicate ideas well then having technical knowledge isn't nearly enough. I have a literature degree, but if you're looking to write for tech publications I'd recommend journalism. If you're a senior I guess it's too late to pick a major, but it's not too late to start writing.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not that hard to get professional work as a writer if you have the chops. Yes, there are a lot of people who want to be writers, but there's still unfulfilled demand for people who can actually do it well. I spent a lot of my adult life assuming that I needed to get a "real job," because being a writer, much less a humorist, wasn't a realistic goal. I was wrong. I don't think I could have walked out of college and straight into paid work at Vanity Fair, but I could have been a professional a lot sooner. Many publications, including Wired News, have an open submissions policy whereby you can send "queries," essentially offers to write specific stories. Google "magazine queries" or check out one of the many books on the subject. In general, editors care a lot more about the words you put on the page than the words you have on your degree.

I don't really know what separates people who can't write well from those who can. Genetics? Upbringing? Training? A certain je ne sais whatever? Call me a cynic, but I suspect that if you're a bad writer, "believe in yourself" is a terrible piece of advice. I don't think I could believe myself into being an Olympic-level gymnast, and I think a lot of people couldn't possibly believe themselves into being the next David Sedaris. But if you do have this talent or skill or whatever you want to call it, believing in yourself is the most important advice you can get. Even after I started writing professionally, it took me a while to realize that my "voice," my idiosyncratic approach to writing, was an asset rather than a detriment.