About Pluto
As you've probably heard, the definition of "planet" is, pardon the expression, up in the air. Some people feel that Pluto and anything Pluto-like should be excluded, leaving us with eight planets. The current proposal, however, grants planet status not only to Pluto, but to Charon, Ceres, and the informally-named Xena.
There's a lot of emotional attachment to Pluto as a planet, but I don't think people are taking into account a group of citizens unable to speak for themselves, coherently at least: stoned students in dorm rooms. If we expand the definition of planet, stoned students in dorm rooms will no longer be able to speculate that maybe the solar system is actually a big flourine atom. Sure, they can switch to speculating that the solar system is just a big magnesium atom, but what of the future? As we find more objects in the Plutonian class, stoned college students in dorm rooms will have to alter their drug-induced imaginings, perhaps even in the middle of a bong hit. And, as our powers of astronomical observation become more advanced, we may find that, thanks to Pluto, the solar system is actually a big plutonium atom.
These are the minds of the future, people. Can we afford to blow them?
Comments
Well, there's the distinct possibility that some of them are already taking blow, so yeah, we probably can.
Posted by: Z | August 17, 2006 04:29 PM
But Pluto is also a dog's name, man. A cartoon DOG, man.
Posted by: Ian Wallace | August 17, 2006 06:32 PM
Well, hopefully the students are taking classes where they are informed about mythology as this decision is going on. That way they can be stoked when the planets are named after Dice (pronounced like Dike) and the ever-popular Dionysos, god of wine.
Posted by: Joanne | August 17, 2006 08:47 PM
I've read a few articles about the subject. So far, the quote I like best is this, from a museum director: "If you were to find Pluto today, you wouldn't call it a planet. But Pluto is enshrined in the views of all children and adults. And place mats."
Posted by: Tougi | August 18, 2006 01:26 AM
But everyone already knows that the entire universe is a huge plutonium atom:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archimedes_Plutonium
Posted by: Jim | August 18, 2006 01:27 AM
And while they're at it, they should TOTALLY rename it "Phallus"!
Posted by: Cole | August 18, 2006 06:39 AM
Dee-kay, surely?
Posted by: Jim | August 18, 2006 07:13 AM
I'm more concerned about having to rework all those Mnemonic devices. My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas isn't going to cut it anymore.
Posted by: Smithra | August 18, 2006 09:42 AM
Have you ever looked at your solar system? I mean *really* looked at your solar system?
Posted by: Rubrick | August 18, 2006 03:13 PM