The Slumbering Lungfish Dybbuk Hostel and All-Night Boulangerie

. . . Wow. That's definitely a winner. It could only have been better with the addition of the line, "Placentas like this one routinely sell for 800 yuan RMB."

Very early in its run, Saturday Night Live produced, but did not air, a spoof commercial for "Placenta Helper."

Yeah, my topic title was a reference thereto. Pretty funny bit, if I remember correctly.

I once joked to a group of people that I eat placenta. It was clearly untrue, implied by both my subsequent laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of the statement and the fact that I am, as everyone present was aware, vegan.

Months later, I ran into one of those same people. He moved me away to speak privately and asked, "Do you really eat placenta?" The kid was dead serious. By this time, I'd forgotten all about the offhanded remark and he had to remind me.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be for a professional comedy writer.

I was actually thinking that human placenta would be the one meat that vegans could eat with a clean conscience. No killing, no suffering, no exploitation of harmless creatures, but one hundred percent cruelty-free placenta.

Fair points, but you'd still have a hard time convincing me to chow down on placenta.

But what about the completely inexplicable second picture, with the placenta photo shrunk down and placed in the middle of a Mission Impossible 3 still? I wondered if perhaps they were just trying to demonstrate through relative size just how much of a "big meal for Cruise" the placenta would be, but no, the caption just claims that it's a photo from the upcoming action thriller. Were they just trying to see whether anyone would notice?