The Slumbering Lungfish Dybbuk Hostel and All-Night Boulangerie

My favorite part about the Wired articles is the portion of the population that doesn't understand that they're humor columns. There always seems to be at least one guy telling you, "Dude you don't need a bandolier just don't carry so much@!!!"

Yeah, I got that a lot with Brunching, too, which is even sadder because Brunching was much more clearly labelled. My favorite was when someone "corrected" a list of facts about elephants I wrote, saying "I assume this wasn't a joke because it wasn't funny."

Oh, and while I'm at it, thanks to those who say nice things in the comments on Wired News. It's inevitable that some people wandering the fields of http are going to have a bug up their ass, but it's always nice to see the democratic response.

It's such a relief that, should I ever need a dose of the Ratings again, I can find them in all their thinly-veiled splendor at alt text.

I totally remember the elephant list, if only for the Beastie Boys reference.

Anyway, is it cool if I do the bandolier thing as long as I promise not to go to any cons, get my picture taken, or generally be seen in public? I live in Canada, if that helps. It's just that you've finally provided a way for me to become "Diagonal Batman."

Well, Will Smith already wore a fanny pack. (MIB) And the reason he was wearing it is the exact same reason I wear one: It's the only way to carry a reasonably sized concealed weapon during the summer. Can't wear an ankle holster with shorts. Can't wear a shoulder holster or most belt holsters without a jacket. Fanny Pack it is. That it also holds my cell phone and digital camera is just gravy. :D

How about the eHolster? That's kinda like a bandolier, except without any shred of masculinity.

On a serious note (sorry), you may want to check out the Personal Area Network apparel over at ThinkGeek. I usually don't travel with anything more than a pair of sunglasses, but I had to buy one of the pullovers just to find out what a "Personal Area Network" is. Turns out it's just a bunch of hidden pockets and conduits sewn into strategic locations so you can, say, store your iPod in a pocket in the upper torso region, and run the headset wires invisibly up through to a hole that comes out behind your ears. Not quite as exciting as I'd hoped, but it is comfortable and not entirely unstylish.

I've been wearing a fanny pack when I walk the dog in summer, so I have a place to put my keys, dog-crap bags, and a few biscuits.

Pretty much all of those things would fit in a bandolier.

Hmmm. Time to price some nylon webbing and buckles.

hey, great article. It's a problem we all face.

It's a two-way dilemma, of course. Steve McQueen didn't have any backpacks, fanny pack or satchels - so neither should we.

On the other hand, men are expected to have on hand a bunch of useful implements. Can't we store screwdrivers in our hair or something?

Man, at least it seems like the pointlessly-negative commenters on Wired News have thinned out. I don't understand why people feel the need to complain about humorous articles, as if someone shoved a knife in their eye and forced them to read it.

Surprisingly, a quick search on eBay brings up a rather large number of bandoliers for sale. And I am once again left wondering just why the only thing my family passes down from generation to generation is big hips and/or noses, instead of weapon-holding gear.

Man, I wish fanny packs would open up a portal to the alternate dimension where they're still making ReBoot.

If mention is made that Chewbacca wore a bandolier, it should also be noted that Worf had one as well.

Otherwise, a very nice adaptation of the "Ways to carry things" rating.

Heh, one of the problems with the Ratings is that I pretty much talked about everything I'm interested in at some point or another, so it's unlikely that I'm going to be able to do a weekly column without there being quite a bit of crossover. However, I believe I made all-new jokes this time around, so I hope fans of the Ratings won't be too put out.

Lore,

It appears that a blog about man purses is soliciting your opinion on a bandolier. Is it okay if bikers wear one of these to DragonCon?

Now, this, this is a totally awesome way to carry things:

http://necromanc.blogspot.com/2006/04/leather-bag-dragon.html